It’s nearly that time of year, that wonderful period where brisk autumnal winds gust through the green streets of Melbourne, sweeping up discarded leaves and even more discarded flyers, whispering “debt” as they flutter past. That magical month when the inner city of Melbourne comes alive with hordes of excited people eager to be audiences for the three or four comedians they’ve seen on a car commercial or TV panel show. The rest of us lacking that unquantifiable on-screen X-Factor are desperately pitching shows to people who are overwhelmed by the... Read The Rest →
Been a long time since I posted any stand-up, so here’s a gig I recently did. A mixture of old and new, hope you enjoy it.
So a while back I was asked to write a piece for Independent Media site Crikey. The brief was to write something about stand-up comedy, no matter how odd, and I chose to write about the darker and more depressing side of being a comedian. Not a lot of people realise that comedy isn’t a full time gig for 99.9% of comedians. For most of us, it’s the passion project we do around numerous ego destroying and menial jobs. Here is what I wrote, I would say “enjoy” but… yeah…... Read The Rest →
All cabs smell the same. On some base level between the fog of your driver’s bacteria clogged armpits and the new car factory smell; every single taxi has one underpinning odour. The only way to smell this smell is to sit in a taxi for long enough, to move past that initial sting of sweaty sedentary polyester until you’re no longer conscious of any odour. Until you can’t sense the scents, so to speak. Only once your nostrils have accepted their fate, with the serenity of a cancer patient, can... Read The Rest →
It was the sixth opening we had been to that night. I was cold, wet, and pining for a cigarette. As I stood in the corner of the gallery, I licked the inside of my mouth in an effort to remember the comforting taste of burnt throat I was accustomed to. I’d recently quit smoking but was not above buying an entire pack for a stranger so I could bum one off of them without the thick feeling of guilt weighing on my chest. The gallery was launching a new... Read The Rest →
The Germans have one word that no one else does, it sums up that wicked moment of glee you feel when a fellow human experiences misfortune. In Australia we use two words “suck shit”. Pronounced “Suuuuuck Shit!” Today my word is a little more specific in nature, but still follows the Germans in intent. Shuttinfreude Taking joy in watching a person sprinting desperately to catch the train only to have their spirit, if not their head, crushed by the closing doors. You have to admit, it’s a particularly wonderful... Read The Rest →
I thoroughly enjoy making up words. Yes, I know we have far too many in the English wordstock as it is. Not to mention we have words that sound identical when spoken, but they’re there their meaning and spelling differs greatly. I’m not one to worry too much about weather whether my words are incongruous, or if people find delight in my faulty punctuation. If you get the idea, if the gist is not lost on you, then I have succeeded. So what is the first word I’m making up?... Read The Rest →
Yo! I’m doing a show at the 2012 Melbourne International Comedy Festival so I made this video to promote the show. It’s called A Funny Thing Happened… and I think comedians and comedy aficionados will dig it. Big thanks to my partner in crime, Dan Mitton, for filming this!